You Just Never Know ...

One of the recurring -- and possibly overworked -- points I make when I talk about the Downtown East Side is that anyone is just one misstep away from winding up in a situation similar to the "street people". It might be something obvious or it might be something seemingly minor, that sets off a cascade of events.

I've known Mike since I started at Gospel Mission eight years ago. Nice-looking, pleasant, polite, 40-something, he would sit at or near the back and sing lustily during Worship. He loved singing, and had been in his school's choir in Prince Rupert, which had won awards in festivals.

But as the years went by, one could see changes in him. He'd be prone to outbursts of anger -- not directed at us, but he would come in and bend our ears about the way some of the advocacy groups he was involved with, like VANDU (the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users) would treat him. He was angry that they would ask him to leave meetings for being disruptive. How he was disruptive was never clear.

Certainly, Mike could be candid and maybe less than judicious in the things he said. When supporters of InSite -- the supervised injection facility -- turned out en masse for a court ruling regarding federal health-care funding, Mike was a no-show. "I missed out on thirty-five bucks," he said, explaining that had been promised to those who came for the demonstration. He then told me that he and others were given box lunches and a trip to Victoria for a demonstration at the Legislature.

Aside from exacerbating Mike's anger issues, the drug use has savaged his physical state, with ghastly open sores appearing on his face. I found it very easy to judge him, saying to myself, "so how are those 'drug users' rights' working out for you?"

Then, a couple of weeks ago, he shared a piece of information.

"My mother died 35 years ago this month," he said. "She, my auntie, my grandma, my sister and brother -- all killed in a car accident. It was just outside Edmonton on Highway 16 and they hit a tanker truck."

That was a jolt. I remembered that crash well. It was one of a number of fatal crashes in 1980 along what the papers were calling "Death Highway". Shortly after that, I had to drive that highway en route to my first radio job, in Lloydminster.

And now, here was someone directly affected by that string of disasters.

He went on. "My grandpa said, 'I got a bad feeling about Mikey going with you.' He didn't want me to go. 'I got a bad feeling,' he said."

"Wow," I said. "So you stayed home."

"Oh, no," Mike replied. "I went. I was the only survivor."

Suddenly, a lot of things fell into place.

So now, it becomes understandable that Mike would turn to drugs as the solution to his pain and his lingering grief ("survivor's remorse" is probably a part of that). Personally, I'm no more in favor of people doing drugs for any reason -- and certainly not in favor of making them "safer" to take. But Mike's experience reminds me that there are so many deep-seated issues that need to be dealt with and frankly, only God can reveal and only Jesus can heal. Anything else is a damned lie.

==

"My mother. Did. What she thought. Was right."

Denise spoke very deliberately, as if she was forcing the thought out of her mouth and into the light. Her mother had handed her over to a children’s aid agency when she was a baby, and her point was that she couldn't hold any anger against her. Mind you, her determined way of saying it suggested she had had a long and difficult time to get to that stage.

Ironically, Denise, herself, parted ways with her children. She talks with them from time to time, and then they go about their lives; but there's still a sense that there are still a lot of gaps in their relationship.

Denise is the one who said, "I'd have to kill you all!" when I asked if she'd share her life story for my "In His Image, Too ..." video project, so this was a remarkably candid revelation. She's in her mid-fifties, petite, still attractive with grey threads through her black hair and has definitely “seen it all”. But she refuses to play the victim and blame the myriad people who could be and are regularly blamed for what happens to our Native brothers and sisters. Instead, she’s what I'd call an actionist – someone who just gets in there and does what she can to help. In her case, it’s serving at the women’s centre on the Downtown East Side, helping other women – particularly the young ones – cope with the situation.

“Just show me a Native woman who hasn't sold her body at some point,” she said recently. Someone had had the face to ask her if she'd ever been a prostitute and she was her usual direct self. But with the annual Memorial March for Missing and Murdered Women about to happen, Denise was equally emphatic that it would have to go ahead without her.

“Nothing changes,” she said, meaning the impact of the marches. “But more than that: I'd like to see a march for missing and murdered men. You never hear about that, but that’s what happened to my husband and I wish someone would talk about that.” But almost immediately, she added, “Not me, though: I'm not goin’ on that crusade!”

Denise believes that handing her over to a child protection agency (ironically, the same one that was under the microscope last year in connection with the death of a little boy in Ontario) was not the right thing to do. And yet, it's clear that the experiences Denise went through as a result have led to this calling on her to help others. Who knows how many people she's blessed, just by being there for them?

I would say Denise has a calling of God on her life: I don't know if she'd see it that way, but I'm reminded of Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

==

When we went to Australia in December, we walked around Circular Quay in Sydney (I love the Aussies' directness in many things in their language: it's a quay; it's shaped like a circle; therefore, it's named "Circular Quay") and one of its features is "Writers' Walk". This is a series of plaques, in tribute to the writers from Australia and around the world who have, in one way or another, had a connection with Australia. Alongside Nevil Shute, Jack London, Rudyard Kipling and James Michener, there is this plaque from Kath Walker, an Aborigine who took the name Oodgeroo Noonuccal -- the name of her tribe.

I could tell you of heartbreak, hatred blind,

I could tell of crimes that shame mankind,

Of brutal wrong and deeds malign,

Of rape and murder, son of mine.

But I'll tell instead of brave and fine,

When lives of black and white entwine,

And men in brotherhood combine -- 

This would I tell you, son of mine.

Note that this poem was written in 1964, at about the same time Martin Luther King was delivering his speech, in which he said, in part, "I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood ... that ... one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."

Eloquence from two different parts of the world, at the same time, with the same thought towards brotherhood, equality and, yes, integration. For what it's worth, it's my own prayer for our First Nations in Canada, because the current situation, I believe, is geared to keep them oppressed -- just in a different way. But it's one thing for whitey, here, to talk about integration and brotherhood: hearing it from the oppressed people themselves, gives it credibility.

She just happened …

What brought her to the city was some sort of scholarship –

Some fancy New York fashion institute.

Her junkie boyfriend took to crime which took up too much of her time:

It only took a year until she took a different route.

-- “She Just Happened”, Mighty Mighty Bosstones

I’ve found myself slipping into my anecdotage this past month. It was partly to do with turning 57 and explaining to people that yes, I am old enough to collect my pension, albeit a “reduced” one; but also to do with meeting up with my high school grad class for our 40-year reunion.

The experience was fun, but it was tempered more than somewhat by the discovery that 17 of our classmates – well over 10% of our total number – have already passed away. One of my friends noted sadly that, with the women, it appears that cancer took many of them; many of the guys died from drugs.

And then there was Vicky. Murder, we were told.

According to one of the few people who had any contact with her after graduation, she had fallen in with a seedy crowd. I had heard that she had found employment “displaying her shape”, as Damon Runyon delicately described it, at various clubs around the city. At the time, I had simply said, “hmm”, but didn’t think much of it.

But at the time, I didn’t know what that crowd could be like, and apparently, neither did Vicky. I don’t know any more about the circumstances, and I don’t think I want to – the more I’ve thought about it over the past couple of weeks, the more I’ve remembered how dear she was to me. The idea of her being killed by someone else’s hand is something I don’t want to contemplate.

Vicky and I were never an “item”, although I did ask her in 11^th grade if she’d “go around” with me. She laughed in my face, not unkindly, kissed me on the cheek and said it would be best to keep it as “just friends”. Cool: I was no stranger to rejection and she was a nice friend, anyway. At least she was honest. 

Vicky was the partner for my first "stage kiss". In 10th grade, we played boyfriend-girlfriend (I was the boy) in a student drama festival production. In one of those ironic situations that can only happen in high school, I was cast as her father in My Fair Lady the next year: Alfred P. Doolittle to her Eliza (although I pulled out of the production due to schoolwork); and the year after that, she played my aunt in Arsenic and Old Lace. 

In fact, Vicky learned Cockney for her role of Eliza and would use it outside of rehearsals. In class, she would mutter, “I ‘ave ter git me pensoh” in that accent. Even now, I hear Vicky’s voice when I look for a “pensoh” to do the weekend crossword, although I had long since forgotten why that phrase and voice were so embedded in my mind.

So while we weren't "involved", Vicky and I were fairly close friends and she opened up to me in ways you could only open up to a good friend. We sat together in Socials 11, talking about places we wanted to go to and things we wanted to do with our lives. Over the phone, she once read me a poem she’d written: “it’s not about anything I've done,” she said, as if she needed to explain something beforehand; there’s no doubt that the line, “and then he impales you with his sword of love,” did require some background.

It was about a year or so after grad that I heard my “good friend” was doing a strip act. That was the last I heard of her until I saw her name on the list of “angels” passed around by the organizer the reunion.

What just happened?

She just happened, she just happened to cross my mind.

Without warning, she crossed my mind:

What just happened to me?

The other night, I found myself letting out a heavy sigh from time to time, for no apparent reason. I hope my wife will forgive me.

Not to diminish what it was

Well, there’s no reason to, because

Ago, it was so long and away, it seems so far.

Whom are we kidding, guys?

This spring has brought a new crop of people into The Lord’s Rain, although the new young women have not started arriving. High school isn’t finished yet, so I suppose that influx is a month away, as girls, talented, confused and starry-eyed, fall in with guys who promise easy money and “things”, so long as they “do a little work for them”.

One of the new girls: the guy in the shades
appears to be "with her".

Other “she”s have just happened to cross my mind lately: women who would come into The Lord’s Rain and then, not come in anymore. Shannon, Leanne, Chrissy, Charlotte, Cherie, “Little One”, who was the first woman to have shower at The Lord’s Rain: have they stopped coming because their lives have turned around and they’ve moved away? Or have they, like Vicky, run afoul of their “boyfriends”?

Jade

(On reflection, Shannon is a slightly different case: she was a bright light at the Mission, overcoming her own issues to talk to others and, if nothing else, expressing a pure love to them that reached out in ways I couldn’t seem to. She and her husband, Brannon, found a place on the south end – a considerable distance away from the DTES – where it was quiet and Brannon could rest and take care of his various kidney and liver problems. The last word I got about Chrissy is that she goes to Ontario for extended periods to see her family.)

Jade, who came in to Ladies’ Day at The Lord’s Rain when it first launched on Friday nights in 2008, died of blood poisoning a few months later.

I have hopes for Davona. It’s now three years since I saw her with her baby, Shine. We collided in Waterfront Station, which is sufficiently removed from the DTES that, it appears, she has turned things around.

This leads, by a grand leap in thought process, to musing about the Great Stupid Question about the disappearances of women from the DTES a decade ago. By “stupid question”, I refer to something a former colleague in Victoria radio, the late Joe Easingwood, used to say: “The only ‘stupid question’ is the one that doesn’t get asked.” In all the finger-pointing at police for the way they handled those cases, I never heard anyone address the question of how those women wound up on the DTES in the first place. Why had they left their homes? Why were they reduced to selling their bodies to get drugs? 

Why, indeed, did Vicky get lured into a world that eventually took her life?

(Another "stupid question" is, where were the media, which leapt all over the revelations but didn't start digging until relatively late in the game? I remember getting a call from one of the women's relatives in 2002, when I was assignment editor at a station in Victoria. Because the answers had to come from Vancouver Police and we had limited resources as it was, I seem to recall we decided to "leave it to the Vancouver stations". Maybe I should have pushed to get our Vancouver reporter to do some digging. I wonder ... But if I was getting calls in 2002, how many reporters were getting similar calls at that time or earlier? What happened with the story then?)

Of course, the view from the bleachers is always clearer than the view on the field. I remember the experience of a woman I knew in Victoria about twenty years ago, whose daughter fell in with “the bad crowd”. Shari was a single mother, raising two children and holding down a job, so she wasn't at home when school let out. Her son had activities like sports that kept him occupied, but the girl quickly found other "interests", and it wasn't long before certain young men started convincing her that her mom didn't really love her but they could give her something her mom couldn't. 

Shari tried everything she could think of, including showing up at one hangout with her (large and imposing) boyfriend and a camera, snapping pictures of everything and everyone before dragging the girl home. It made a lot of people nervous, at least for a time. There was even a “scared straight” session with Victoria Police, in which one cop told the girl, “I carry a gun, and I won’t tangle with those guys!”, but the impact was only temporary. The lure of the vast opportunities in Vancouver and a nice trip to Hawai’i with some very nice gentlemen, coupled with the repeated conviction that she was being denied something on the home front, proved irresistible.

(Another flashback takes me to the killing of Reena Virk 20 years ago in Victoria: the crowd she had fallen in with -- and which ultimately turned on her like a murder of crows attacking an injured member -- had also convinced her that her parents were preventing her from "living".)

It's tough - especially when parents who try to "train up a child in the way he (or she) should go" (Proverbs 22:6) are portrayed as "stifling" their children and denying them their freedom. 

So while that “unasked question” may appear to be rhetorical and not a little judgmental, there are answers, and none of them is simple. 

Pickton and the coals of fire

If you want to stir up some heated discussion around The Lord's Rain, bring up the case of Robert "Willie" Pickton. I was out of town when the latest development came up -- the Supreme Court of Canada, upholding his convictions on six counts of murder and the Crown opted to stay the charges on 20 other counts -- so I haven't heard what's being said this time by the people who come in.

Certainly, the media coverage has created great opportunities for newspaper columnists to do the Righteous Outrage thing. They're great at that. One went absolutely over the top in expressing his fervent emotions about the heinousness of his crimes and -- rather fatuously, I thought -- called on Pickton to "man up" and tell what happened to the others. Another darkly hinted that "important people" might get tarnished if there were a public inquiry.

By way of a recap, Pickton was charged after literally dozens of women went missing from the Downtown East Side over a period of several years. The movements of the victims, many of whom were prostitutes and drug addicts, were eventually traced to a pig farm owned by Pickton and his brother in Port Coquitlam -- just east of Vancouver. Police eventually gathered the evidence that led them to Pickton. He was the only one charged. The details of the deaths that came out at trial can best be summed up with one word: horrific.

Some say that it's a relief that, without proceeding with charges in the other 20 cases (he's also suspected in about 20 missing-women cases on top of these 26) or holding a public inquiry into the case, we won't have to hear about the details all over again. Others say the families of the other 20 are being denied "closure" -- whatever that is -- because their loved ones' day in court won't happen. There is an underlying assumption that without a conviction, there will never be justice for the families of the victims.

As I say, Pickton has often been a subject of conversation around The Lord's Rain. Some of the people who come in knew the victims, and the recurring theme isn't so much the allegations of police inaction on the initial reports of missing people, but they do wonder how Pickton could have acted alone.

Shannon, whom I've mentioned before as the first woman I've known on the DTES who actually admitted to having been a prostitute, knew some of the victims and remarked recently how tremendously blessed she felt that she hadn't been one of them, herself. She went on to talk about what she'd like to do to him. Her talk was along the lines of "I'm not in favor of the death penalty, but ...", and I found it hard to disagree.

Then Jeff broke into the conversation. "Forgive him," he said.

Jeff is the sort of person who can provide exactly the word one needs to keep things in perspective, and this was one of those times. According to the word of God, that's exactly what this situation calls for: something to break the legalistic logjam and get away from the hand-wringing that the legal system has let people down. Jesus tells us flat-out that we have to forgive those who have wronged us -- even if that wrong is torturing and murdering someone we love. Bless those who curse you, He says; pray for those who despitefully use you. Proverbs 25:21-22 (echoed by the Apostle Paul in Romans 12:20) says that in so doing, we heap coals of fire on that person's head. Keep that in mind -- we'll come back to that shortly.

If we forgive someone, Jesus says, we'll be forgiven by God for the things we've done wrong. The act goes much deeper. Even though our fleshly desire is to gain revenge on that person, if we suppress that desire and follow God's will by forgiving, that releases God to work that will over the whole situation. We release the person from the burden of our hating them and release ourselves from that same burden.

OK, so the legal system has failed the families of those allegedly killed by Robert "Willie" Pickton. Another aspect of forgiveness is that you don't have to wait for a court of law to decide beyond a shadow of a doubt. Even if you only suspect someone wronged you, forgiving them still lets God get to work, either proving guilt or exposing the person who was really responsible. If the families of those victims were to declare that they forgive Pickton -- unconditionally and without reservation -- they might be surprised at what follows.

As for the "coals of fire" reference, I believe that has a number of meanings. You could say that the coals of fire represent the burning feeling of guilt and shame that comes when someone has taken the high road and forgiven someone else -- leading, presumably, to the one who's been forgiven reciprocating by doing whatever it is that God wants of them. But fire is often used to connote the Holy Spirit, so once again, forgiving someone touches them with the anointing they need. In the long run, justice and closure -- real justice and closure -- follow as the night the day.

Too often, our society mistakes "revenge" for "justice". To God, justice comes when His will is done. The world's approach has run out of avenues for the people affected by the Pickton case. Maybe it's time to look at God's approach.